Rediscovery

New Life?

It has been several weeks and I haven’t managed to sit down and write anything. I’ve been busy living life instead of constantly reflecting. I guess that is actually a good thing in many ways for a personality like mine. At the least, I’ve managed to jot down some headings to help me remember. Hopefully I’ll be able to go back and fill in some details later.

There has been plenty to reflect about. There have been major changes in they rhythm and flow of my life here in China, many with incredible implications for my next two years. Team Leader, extensive CR work, attempts to adjust and teach well alongside shifts in schedules. I am busy and tired but my soul manages to stay lifted up by His grace alone. I’ve found that as long as I keep my eyes on His grace I never go under, albeit it I’m often on the edge.

The whole team feels it really. I can see it in fatigued bodies, tired eyes and voices, dry hearts that feel weighed down. I think each of us has our unique own struggle, but indeed we are all struggling. And why shouldn’t we? There is a battle going on and we’ve been taking the offensive, which is bound to leave us tired. The enemy’s attacks will continue and he will try and find clever ways to play with truths, turn them upside down, and try and crush us with them.

In these days, I feel called to seek peace, joy, and freedom. These are marks of the Spirit and what I need to personally overcome the weight of responsibility and loneliness that dwell by me. For others on the team similar feelings of inadequacy and tiredness, but I do not know how their relationships with you are going.

A simple but vital dynamic in our work is that if we have not a strong relationship and connection with the Father, we have not the divine power to serve.. .

Instead, we will serve with all good intention and piety out of personal strength that will leave us burned.

I keep hearing a whisper in my ear, “Easten, where you end is where I can fully begin.”

This has a few things to do with Easter I am sure. I spent a large part of the week hoping that I would be able to identify with the same passion the Son had to heal and transform lives and society. This was a good thought, but what it lacked was an understanding that I am not the Son, nor will I ever carry the responsibility of a passion as deep and impacting as his.

No, I am a disciple. As such I need to turn to their experience and story, especially after Easter, to find myself. I am the one who slept and fled in the garden. I am on the road to Emmaus. I am waiting patiently in Jerusalem for the day of pentecost. I am speaking His words, serving by His strength, seeking to administer grace in all its various forms through the gifts He has given me so His name may be glorified.

What exactly glorifies His name anyway?

Life abundant is His promise, both in this life and the next.

The cross means death, a punishment for our sins, being cast away in shame.

But resurrection means new life.

So I ask myself... where is my new life?

posted by Unknown @ 12:09 AM