Ordinary Thoughts
It just occured to me why I have these large windows of writer's block. It's because I think I should always have something deep and substantial to say. I’m realizing that this is not only silly of me, but also hypocritical and a little twisted. I, who somewhat pride myself on being able to live in the now, of being an active seeker of the holy in the ordinary, will not write because I snobbishly feel that my everyday thoughts and feelings are not meaningful enough to be stated, at least not unless they can be phrased eloquently.Well, enough is enough! If I wait for my words to be perfect, for my emotions and experiences to be pinned down in absolutes before I write, I’ll never express anything. And to not express, well, you might as well be dead.
Even more so, I hate not being able to sit down with my friends and chat about life. Phone calls prove expensive and the physical distance really does something to my soul these days. So instead of the usual analyses and essays, I should start using my journal, blogs, pictures, as a means of connecting more of my daily routine with home, family, the many I miss and love so dearly.
Connections are so important to me. I'm afraid of losing them all being here in China. Losing touch is such a sad, and yet normal thing. I need connections though. Without them, I might as well be dead.
So anyway here are some ordinary thoughts, uninhibited thoughts.. .
I joined the College Facebook phenomenon today. I wouldn’t normally take the initiative to play with stuff like this, much less actually spend an hour looking up old friends as far back as Jackson Road Elementary School. But there is something about being thousands of miles away in another country that will make you miss home in such a way that a simple digital reminder of friendship means a whole lot more. Yea, I’m homesick.. . but I’m still happy to be here.
Also, there’s this great lil tea house at the front of the Phoenix Food Street called ‘Be For Time Tea House.’ It’s quickly become one of my favorite spots in town. Evidently a chain from Shanghai, you can sit yourself down, pay 18 yuan, and order as much of the many types of tea, coffee, milk tea, and smoothie-ish drinks as you want. I love it. On any given trip, I make at least 3 to 4 trips to the bathroom to celebrate my wide and varied liquid intake. I am beginning to spend mornings there grading papers, doing personal Chinese language studies, etc. The place even has some pretty decent western food (quesadialls with a humerous Chinese style salsa that tastes a bit sweet/sour). Eventually it’s going to put a major hole in my wallet though, so I’d better watch it. 18 kuai may only be $2.25 in the States, but I’m not making an American salary here.
I’ve also rediscovered the S.H.E. forum, an online forum full of teeny bopper geeks (like myself) who are head over heels for one of the most superficial of Chinese pop groups, after a several month hiatus. It’s been fun catching up on the tabloid like news about Selina’s latest new look or the promotion of their new TV series (which I will of course get once it is available on DVD). S.H.E. will be holding a concert in Nanjing in about three weeks. I’m hoping to land some tickets. I am such a geek.
In other words... the weekend’s been full of distractions. I should be planning a lesson or something.
posted by Unknown @ 2:26 AM
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