Rediscovery

Upperclassmen Part I

I know I've spent a lot of time talking about my freshmen, but these past few weeks have also lead me to a new place concerning my view on my upperclass students. It began Christmas Eve service during my conversation with one of the sister students, a red raincoat girl if I may say. She's been part of the family for a lil over a month now. Here began a chain reaction of subtle experiences that have linked together in rather quiet ways. If I didn't pay attention I would have missed it. He's always working in the quiet, not usually in in the big bangs. I need to pay more attention.

This gal was asking me about jobs after graduation. Being a Senior about to graduate, it’s an obvious area of concern. The job market for new graduates in China is hideously difficult, especially now that they are increasing enrollment in colleges all over the country. The output of graduates doesn't meet the demand. Everyone's a bit scared. She wants to do something she’s passionate about with her English major, not just teach or translate for some company. In fact, she wants to serve others. She’s got that charm and light that glows too. I saw it in the way she practiced singng ‘Silent Night’ with the old lady behind her as we waited for the service to begin. I felt it in her questions, that she wants more than this world has to offer. In the end I suggested she look into companies simillar to World Vision or Compassion but perhaps on a smaller and more focused scale in China, social service organizations seeking interpreters. She liked that idea. I like it too.

Jump ahead two days. It's Monday, I’m in the office after my Public Speaking class. Two Junior guys visit to practice their English and sit around my desk. Soon the conversations begin. Lately we’ve been able to touch on deeper topics than usual. This is good. Today in particular, one of the students was off balance. He is usually chipper and very sharp. Today his voice was not as clear, his thoughts not as articulate, his eyes displaying a loss instead of his usual intentional presence. I decided to press him a bit harder, asking if he was okay and what was on his heart and mind. He told me he felt he wasted his time as a first semester junior transfer with extracurricular activities; participating in singing contests and working at a local radio station, instead of studying. At the heart of it, there was fear for his future and the job possibilities available to him if his grades were too low. He didn’t know what he wanted to do really. This was what he said to me anyway, but I believe there’s something deeper to it than just a job. His eyes seemed a bit watery, he was staring at the ground, his voice soft. I think of the girl in my room expressing the similar sense of hopelessness about her studies weeks before. Yea, a lot of students feel this way.

It’s about meaning... the search for meaning... for purpose.. . for life.

The other student sitting with us seems more purpose driven. He is the one who emailed me before I even got to China. Hoping to work in international relations of some sort, he’s working hard with independent studies to tag on to his English major. But even then, I've had enough meals with him to sense his nervousness and fears. I dialogued with the both of them about what it meant to do something you loved and felt passionate about, trying to give examples from my own life. I told them they needed to think outside the box when it came to the literal job position, but at the same time to stay true to the root of their passion. It's not about what you do, but who you are. Our passions should meet the world’s needs. That’s a sign we are where we are supposed to be. They found these thoughts intriguing. I hope they follow them to their source. In that source is not only purpose and meaning, but salvation. We are meant to be more than we think we are.

Enter our red rain coat girl, she sits down with us to chat and brings her own insight. Life ought to be experienced, not thought through. She’s looking to get out and work as soon as possible. She’s got a clue, and that’s all she needs. No one figures it out the first try, but you gotta start somewhere. With time, trust, and a genuine interest to begin with, a passion can be built. That’s her plan. The job ain’t the thing... it’s about who you are.

There is a type of presence that brings light. I think she lit up the space a lil bit more. By the end of the conversation the gentlemen seemed to have a bit more direction, a lil less anxiety. That’s what a touch of the Spirit can do. I hope that He will keep pourin’ it down on ‘em. I realized a bit of how the Body ought to work. Each of us being who we were made to be, living out the Truth we know and dispensing Grace in our own way. I have my part to play, she has hers. The two gentlemen also, although not familiar with Dad, have their own journies. As our stories intersect, something's goin' on. He's in the spaces between us.

This is a simple contrast, but that’s not all. No, there’s more. Talks about getting jobs and finding purpose in life is only the first layer. You've got to keep peeling. He's taking the scales off my eyes and the view from here tells me It’s gotta get worse before it can get better.

Later that same night I’m having dinner with the Senior student involved in some seriously difficult situations I cannot mention. He's a brother, but he's made some mistakes that can be potentially disastrous. It's serious and although I know the basics of it, he’s not letting me on the whole story. I can read it on his body and in his face. We go a bit deeper without touching on any specifics. Instead I’m getting the download on a general state of Senior students, the jadedness that envelopes so much of their living.

What are we talking about? I'll have try and share more about it later.

In the meantime, be thinking of these students here.. .

posted by Unknown @ 11:50 PM